Stressed to the Max...

I didn't realize being married was so hard. I'm 21 years old and married someone who's older about 10 years...

He's much more of a calmer more care free man who still acts immature at times, seems perfect? Not really, I'm constantly having to clean up after him or asking him to stop doing things that are irrational and stupid. I feel like a mother and as much as I try to stop myself and just be like him, it doesn't make my life any easier. If i turn the way he is then NOTHING will get done. I have to ask for him to help me around the house, and I'm sure a lot of women go through the same thing or even worse but being pregnant my head throbsss from being stressed out by him. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't want to come home after work so he doesn't have to be with me. He says he loves me like crazy, but actions speak louder than words. There's no energy anymore in the bedroom and I'm just stuck with being this really rediculously jealous stressed out person. He stays late at work voluntarily and worse he has the choice to be home ontime or to stay out till 1 am. I feel like when this baby comes, i'll be forgotten and our marriage will become another statistic when we seperate. I cry like all the time because he's so inconsiderate about my feelings. I try to satisfy him in every way but nothing works....

I don't feel attractive anymore physically with stretch marks and my fat ass growing bigger and bigger....I hate this feeling. Everyone at work is really supportive of me and always cheer me up. That's why some days I just rather just stay there rather than going home and knowing i'm going to be by myself waiting for my husband to finish work...either ontime or not.

When we're both happy...which is rare, we are crazy about each other. But aside from that I married an 31 year old with the energy of a 80 year old. I'm just so tired of my life...my husbands lack of responsibility to get our dogs fixed resulted in a litter of 5 puppies that I have to take care of because he works so much. I'm just so tired of this all. Blogging is the only way I can vent without people worrying to much about me. My family has their own stress's and well my friends are there for me always but I don't like complaining about my life, they look up to me because i'm doing this all so y0ung while theyre all in school or just getting their lives started with their careers. The baby is kicking as I type this and it's getting uncomfortable.

Maybe I wasn't ready after all for all this? It's too late now, I'm stuck with this for the rest of my life.... Unhappy.....

My head is throbbing.....

So I am "happily" married to my husband...and i say that in quotes because its, well sometimes. Talk about stressful life. We're broke, i'm pregnate and having to deal with a husband and two puppies all the time! For a while I was dealing with these two little devils constantly chewing on my stuff, peeing and pooing everywhere, and not even listening to me when i try talking to them! I couldn't take it anymore, and finally the day came where my dog bit me while he was in heat... I could have killed him! All my husband could say is that it was my fault, not evening thinking about the future of having this dog. What if he bit our baby?? Anyways arguments started when i told my husband i was getting rid of him. Long story short on that, he was so depressed we made some comprimises so the dog would stay. I always try and find ways to save money, like cutting our cell phones, or t.v or internet...something! We spend more than we make combined in a month... It's rediculous the debt we're in right now. He buys brand new hockey equipment knowing we're broke and tries to make a profit by selling his old stuff, but that doesn't work out so well. Again, another pot hole for us...

And now lately, It's been so stressful, I don't feel like he cares when i'm upset, and that it's just the hormones. It's tiring constantly thinking and holding stuff in because i have NO ONE to talk to. That's why i turned to blogging, at least getting my thoughts out is better than keeping anything in at this point. You know when your partner does things deliberately just to annoy you even when you asked them to stop, whether its because you had a headach or something else? Yeah that's my husband, except he continues to do it. He's lost most of his caring side to him, now its "what can i do to be funny...." but its not!

And for the sex part, he refused to go down on me saying its not his thing...meanwhile when he was a teenager, he had his tounge peirced....i wonder why? I'm the type of women who will do anything to satisfy her man. His version of 4play, is to get me to orgasm before sex and so when im on him or he's on me, it's quick and fast. Don't get me wrong my husbands in greattttt shape, nicely cut and everything, but I don't understand were he learned to have sex? It's quiet annoying I don't know what to do? Sometimes there's no passion and the sex is to just get it over and done with to shut me up.....because i'm the constant horny one in this relationship. What is wrong with me??....Help?!